


Share Your Secrets

by Aurin



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Byleth isn't much better but is trying, Developing Relationship, Dirty Jokes, Felix has trouble expressing his emotions, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, M/M, Post-Time Skip, Trust Issues, Two idiots need to talk it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 13:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20210194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurin/pseuds/Aurin
Summary: Felix and Byleth are... something.  Neither of them are good at dealing with emotions, but Felix is still feeling the imbalance of their old relationship as a teacher and student.  Are they willing to try and work it out?





	Share Your Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> What have you guys been doing during loading screens? Because this is what I've been doing. Sitting here crying in bisexual because I chose male!Byleth and immediately met the saltiest boy. 
> 
> Warnings - I don't often write fanfic (and on AO3, never!) but when I do, it's this.  
I'm gonna say I'm sorry now for missing any typos in my quick edit...

Anyone with eyes and the tendency to keep an eye on their surroundings knew that there was... _something_ going on between their treasured professor, Byleth, and Felix. Most that noticed were wise, however, to keep said observations to themselves simply to steer clear of Felix's biting tongue.  
  
No one was surprised, then, when Felix approached Byleth in the training yards.  
  
"Professor. Might I have a word with you?" Felix's tone was tight, and completely out of character. But Byleth had been expecting it. Felix had been acting distant for days - he hadn't taken his meals with him, hadn't asked to spar, hadn't spoken up in meetings more than to offer his token jab at Dimitri before falling silent again. Something was bothering him, and Byleth found himself too afraid of the possible reason to approach Felix himself.  
  
Byleth didn't pause, saying what he'd practiced in his head just in case it came to pass, "You're free drop by my quarters after the evening meal, if that is 'alone' enough?"  
  
Felix looked away and nodded sharply.  
  
"After the evening meal."  
  
~  
  
When Felix let himself into Byleth's rooms, he found him at his desk, bent over a number of papers. His heavy cloak was absent, along with all of his light armor, that bulky leather belt, and his signature gray tunic. All that remained was his tight black undershirt, which was still buttoned up his throat, the loose gray pants, and his supple boots. The Byleth sitting before him was relaxed in a way Felix was sure few had seen him in recent months - stripped of his status of professor, tactician, the goddess's chosen, and Dimitri's lead advisor only in the moments he was truly alone. This tired but strong Byleth was all that remained here.  
  
Without looking up from all of the papers, he spoke, his voice unusually quiet, "Ah, Felix. You've come. I believe you wished to speak with me?" He pushed his papers away then, and turned all his attention towards his visitor, "You should make yourself comfortable. I've a feeling you've much to say."  
  
Felix nodded then, and crossed the small room to prop himself up against the low shelves beneath the window. He stood there a while, arms crossed over his chest as he pointedly kept his eyes on Byleth's desk. As ever, he was not keen on eye contact. A nervous Felix was unlikely to raise his eyes past his elbows, as Byleth knew from all the months they'd spent together.  
  
And so he waited. He neither turned his attention back to his papers - plans drawn up by Gilbert, the rest of the Knights, or perhaps even Rodrigue himself - nor focussed the full weight of his gaze onto Felix. He simply waited, body turned towards him. He would talk when he was ready, and Byleth knew from experience that there would be no forcing him.  
  
Minutes passed until Felix sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "There is an inbalance between us. You've told me a number of times that you are no longer our professor, truly, and that we equal in this. Equal when we're _us_. I want to believe it, I do, but I cannot when I know it is hardly the truth." Felix huffed again, scrubbing a hand over his face as he prepared to barrel on, "You've helped me through a number of my troubles, and know about most of the rest. There is very little of my life, of me, that you don't know. Yet you're still largely a mystery to me - I know most of that is out of your hands, that you can hardly share with me what you don't know for yourself, but I feel this... distance between us all the same."  
  
Surprisingly, Felix looked up after that and held Byleth's gaze for a handful of seconds. He looked away immediately after, a light flush creeping across his face. Felix, as embarrassed and shy as ever to admit his real emotions.  
  
A small grin touched Byleth's features, try as he might to keep it from showing.  
  
"That's what this is about? My knowing all your secrets while you know so few of mine?"  
  
Immediately anger and embarrassment played across Felix's face in a brief war for dominance. Anger won out with ease. He stood up straight to abandon his post and took a quick few steps towards the door, "If you'll not take me seriously, I'll-"  
  
He didn't get to finish his sentence before Byleth was standing, catching his forearm. "Goddess, Felix, love, I hardly meant it like that. I was simply surprised!"  
  
It was Byleth's turn to look away then. "I was... I was certain you planned to take tonight to call off whatever _we_ are, to end _this_," Byleth took a moment to gesture between the two of them as Felix slightly turned towards him again, "I've spent the better part of this afternoon and evening envisioning what you would say, what reasons you would give to be rid of me. I wasn't expecting... I wasn't expecting you to want to fix us."  
  
Felix's brow furrowed at that and he turned fully away from the door and back towards Byleth, pulling his arm free in the process.  
  
"Of course I want to 'fix' us! We've hardly had the time to _be_ 'us'; I want to give this a fighting chance before it becomes another casualty of the damned war."  
  
Byleth's face softened at that, and Felix took the opportunity to press their mouths together before he had the chance to say anything else. As ever, kissing Felix was an awful lot like trying to do much of anything else with him - a constant fight. Felix nipped at his bottom lip and used the resulting gasp to gain entrance. Byleth brought a hand up to his neck, his thumb slowly brushing against his jaw. Felix returned the gesture as he explored Byleth's mouth, burying his fingers in the soft hair about his neck. Byleth spared half a thought to wonder if that was Felix attempting to keep him from running away, only to dismiss it a moment later in favor of sucking Felix's tongue further into his mouth. That resulting groan nearly made the day's uncertainty worth it.  
  
And so they continued until they at last had to break for air. Neither backed away, opting to stand with their foreheads touching for a handful of moments longer.  
  
Eventually, Byleth was the one to pull back. He caught Felix's hands in his own and walked the both of them those few short steps to his bed.  
  
"Sit with me, we'll talk. You can ask me whatever you wish, and I'll try my best to answer."  
  
Byleth dropped onto his bed without much fanfare, scooting back until his back hit the wall and he was sitting fully sideways on the bed. He held out a hand for Felix, who took it without pause, and the two settled beside each other. They were pressed together from shoulder to hip, no space between them whatsoever. Though Felix may not of sought the affection, he allowed Byleth to keep ahold of his hand.  
  
They sat in a surprisingly comfortable silence for several minutes, Felix attempting to get his thoughts in order while the man beside him soaked the quiet in. He'd truly been a mess of anxiety for the better part of the day and was more than greatful to be able to sit with the man of his affections knowing that the worry had been mostly unfounded.  
  
It wasn't longer before an idea struck him.  
  
"Secrets! I have one, one that's fairly easy to show you. Jeralt all but commanded me to keep it to myself. It's, ah, fairly strange, but. No one knows." He looked to Felix, and when he nodded, pulled his hand free. Without pause, Byleth unhooked the small clasp that kept his collar closed flush at his throat and made equally quick work of half of the buttons holding his shirt together. When that was done, he settled back against the wall and against Felix.  
  
The confusion on his face only grew when Byleth asked once more for his hand. A nervous grin about his lips, he guided Felix's hand to his chest, just left of center, and pushed his palm flat. He held it a second to make sure he'd would keep his hand there before letting his own hands fall into his lap.  
  
Felix felt the deep breath he drew in then, followed by a faint rumble as he spoke.  
  
"Can you feel my heart beating?"  
  
The confusion was present as he focussed on finding the beat (and studiously attempting to ignore the fact that this was one of the few times he'd actually been able to touch Byleth like this outside of the rare match during training). When he was unable to find it, he leaned closer to his chest, hoping to hear what he obviously couldn't feel. When he met Byleth's eyes again, the grin was back.  
  
"Would you like to feel my pulse? I promise you that that, at least, is possible," Byleth said, offering a bare wrist to Felix to try and locate his pulse. Felix did so, findng it with ease.  
  
"Are you trying to tell me that... you've a pulse, but no heartbeat?"  
  
Byleth nodded, taking Felix's hand back in his own. He did nothing, however, about the shirt that was still haphazardly open. Felix was left doing his best to ignore the flat chest on display beside him. '_You're here for a reason_', he reminded himself, '_And that reason is not to ogle your... Byleth._'  
  
"I can't explain to you why it's like this. I'm alive for certain; I breathe the same as you, and my pulse is strong. You've felt it, felt me. I've either a heart that doesn't beat, or..." He shrugged, careless, and settled back into Felix's side before continuing, "I've something else where my heart should be."  
  
Felix was struck absolutely speechless, though he couldn't tell whether that was by his words or by the way he said them. He stared off into the distance, not truly seeing anything, but mulling everything over in his head.  
  
And then, "How are you so nonchalant about that? It's your _heart_!"  
  
He shook his head, "Felix, love, think about it. This is hardly the strangest thing that has happened in my life. I'm carrying the same crest that Nemesis himself had, I know very little of my own past, and yet the archbishop singled me out and made me your professor - me! Do I truly look like a man who should be teaching? I was a mercenary!" Byleth shook his head, this time in disbelief, "Add the dreams and the Goddess, her fancy trick with my hair and eyes, the sword that I can use and that Rhea made me keep..."  
  
Byleth paused again, and took a deep breath. "Then the battle here at Garreg Mach. I was pushed off this mountain, Felix. I should have been _dead_, no question. There was the feeling of falling, and then all I remember is blackness. The next thing I know I've been pulled from the river and I find the battle is five years past and everything that I know has changed."  
  
"I feel like you just gave me an entire list of secrets."  
  
Byleth hummed an agreement. "Perhaps. But I've stolen more of our time - you've got questions. Ask them, please."  
  
Before speaking, Felix pursed his lips. "I have one question thats been bothering me for quite some time. Since our battle with that strange mage, Solon. What happened to you then? I know more must have happened than what you told us."  
  
Byleth huffed. "There is a long version and short version. Which would you prefer?"  
  
"Always curious answers from you. Honestly," Felix let out a soft laugh, "The short one. We can come back to it."  
  
"Ah. Alright then. Remember how Rhea dragged us down to the Tomb after that battle? How she thought the Goddess would offer some sort of revelation there, like she had with Seiros?" He paused, waiting for Felix's nod to continue, "Well. The truth is... I never really received a grand revelation from the Goddess. Not then, and not since. Oh, you're going to think I've gone mad."  
  
Byleth took a moment to squeeze Felix's hand in his own and continued, "I'm sure all of you remember some of the... gaps in my learning when I first became your professor. My father never taught me much about the Church of Seiros or their beliefs. I never thought anything of it when I began dreaming of this young girl. For the longest time, she would just be sitting on this ridiculous throne - it honestly looked like the one in the Tomb - asleep herself. I'd see her every night. Eventually, not too long before I ran into you lot, she started speaking with me. Her memories was riddled with holes, enough to make my own look complete, but she did know the basics of her own life. She was alive, yet lacking a body, and wasn't all too happy to be stuck with me in mine. And she knew her name was Sothis.  
  
"I know this sounds crazy, but please hear me out?" Byleth turned his head to look at Felix, and took in the puzzled look on his face. He waited until Felix nodded for him to go one before continuing. "That day we fought with Solon and he used that dark magic, Sothis was incredibly angry with me. She really let me have it for putting our body at risk yet again. The darkness of that place scared her, and she wanted to leave it as quickly as possible. She was certain that only the power of a god could free us, and that she could do nothing the way she was, without a body. She proposed that we try and put an end to our sharing a body as two entities by uniting as one soul. That way we could use the power of a god to escape that place. In doing so, we lost the ability to speak with each other as we had been, my appearance changed, and we gained the power to escape."  
  
Byleth's voice had dropped significantly in volume until it was scarcely more than a whisper. He was looking off into the room, but it was obvious that he wasn't truly seeing anything there. His mind was focussed elsewhere. "After we used her power like that, I'm sure you remember that I collapsed. Sothis was so rarely able to stay awake after she used her abilities. Our... new living arrangement just shifted all the strain onto me."  
  
Story told and a secret brought into the open, Byleth fell silent. He was obviously nervous, running his thumb back and forth over the back of Felix's hand. There was no expectation of Felix speaking up immediately - it was a lot of truly unbelievable information all at once. Byleth knew that he would have needed time to sift through it had their roles been reversed. That knowledge made him no less anxious to hear Felix's coming reaction, however. But he did his best to give him the time he needed.  
  
"Are you really trying to tell me that you've been casually talking to a _goddess_ for most of your life?"  
  
He couldn't help the huff of laughter that escape him at that, "I thought I was going crazy, inventing people who would want to talk to me. It never occurred to me that Sothis was the goddess Sothis until Rhea dropped her name in one of our chats."  
  
It was Felix's turn to shake his head and mutter, "I can't decide if you're daft or just clueless..."  
  
He then let his voice raise a touch, "Alright. Let's say I believe this. Tell me about her?"  
  
Byleth let the wave of nostalgia come over him. "She was a lot more troublesome and less majestic than anyone would have you believe. Mmm, would you like another story?"  
  
Nodding, Felix took his turn to squeeze their joined hands.  
  
"Remember the night of the ball? I let myself out early. I needed some air, some time away from the crowd. As soon as I got outside, Sothis started berating me for leaving. She said that if she had a body of her own, she would spend the whole night dancing until she couldn't do so any longer. Shortly after I refused to go back in, Sothis noticed Rhea walking in the dark and told me to follow her. She practically whined at me until I gave in and followed the archbishop to see what she was up to. Imagine, the Goddess daring you to spy on the most important member of the Church!"  
  
"Is that why you were almost late to meet me at the Goddess Tower that night? And why you were so out of breath when you did make it?"  
  
He couldn't hide his laughter at that, "Yes! When I realized how much time had passed, I might have ran the nearly all the way. Sothis spent the whole time teasing me about it, too. Said I was, ah... You know what, uh, it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that I made it without making you wait too long."  
  
Felix chuckled, and let his voice drop a touch, "Mmm, I think this is supposed to be the time where I decide what matters, don't you? And I think I'd like to know what she said. Since it _was_ about me and all." Byleth saw that his cocky smirk was firmly back in place when he turned his head to look at him. Felix had done the same and, for once, wasn't shy about making eye contact.  
  
A hot flush spread across Byleth's cheeks and he quickly tore his gaze away. He was so, so good at putting his foot in his mouth. At saying things he shouldn't. At saying too much around him.  
  
Not wanting to jeopardize the rather pleasant evening they'd been able to salvage, Byleth gulped and decided to talk fast and get it out and over with.  
  
"She first asked me why I was in such a hurry. And I, um, I told her that... That if I didn't meet you there like I'd promised, I'd probably regret it for the rest of my life. She... She said you must have been something, for me to, ah, 'have it that badly'. Her words, not mine. Then she said that she'd likely regret it too. Since she couldn't remember a time when I'd been that happy about anything."  
  
Without waiting to see his reaction, Byleth raised his free hand to his face. He was absolutely certain that his cheeks were on fire and was half determined to try and hide it. He hadn't been expecting Felix's demand for secret to delve into the emotional and the embarassing. Deep, dark truths that had never seen the light of day, those he was ready to part with. He shouldn't have been surprised, no, for Felix had the tendency to do the unexpected. But here he was, pathetically trying to hide as the man he cared so deeply about was positively beaming at him. Felix pulled his hand free and carefully turned Byleth's head so that he had no choice but to look at him.  
  
He hadn't much of a chance to take in how flushed Felix himself was before he was telling him to "Oh, come here," and kissing him again.  
  
The angle was a touch awkward, and most of the fight had drained from the both of them. It was soft and sweet, Felix cradling his face so gently. It didn't last nearly as long as the previous, by Byleth certainly wasn't going to count it as anything but a victory.  
  
"You know..." He started, between breaths, "If you keep doing that, I'm likely to forget all my secrets. That, or ignore them in favor of you."  
  
Felix laughed as he pulled back, his confident persona making its reappearance at long last. "Alright, alright. I've got one more question, one more secret to ask you about for tonight. But don't you dare think this is me letting you off the hook. I expect to pick this back up another time."  
  
"Okay, alright, I promise. You can take however much of my time as you please. What's the question?"  
  
The smirk that made itself home on Felix's face was familiar. It was a remnant of the Felix he'd taught and had come to treasure. A remnant of the Felix who was too smart for his own good. Knowing him as he did, however, didn't stop the final question from stunning him speechless.  
  
"Tell me... Does the carpet match the drapes?"  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm not gonna lie, this all started with the dumb joke there at the bottom and my brain had kittens writing the rest.
> 
> Is there gonna be more? Who knows, we'll see how much I continue to obsess over Felix and his ability to murder everything in sight.


End file.
